I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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