Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
