You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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