im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
