just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
