i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My life is pants optional.
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