so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
