And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who died my cat blue again?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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