are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish my penis had a tongue
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Sacagawea was the original milf.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
