I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
