At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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