He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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