You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
