i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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