Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
