I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
