You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
