His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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