All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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