First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
