Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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