omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
