you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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