Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news