Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"

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  (410): my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts" http://tfl.nu/2c0p
  Replies (14) Good night (3828) Bad night (755)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ..im mad u rememberd about that

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  (732): i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt (1-732): ..im mad u rememberd about that http://tfl.nu/q0le
  Replies (14) Good night (1055) Bad night (3473)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  you should get a family discount.

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  (770): I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer. (404): you should get a family discount. http://tfl.nu/bl35
  Replies (33) Good night (10940) Bad night (1481)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
  Replies (21) Good night (1335) Bad night (3673)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2610) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that

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  (513): They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding (1-513): Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that http://tfl.nu/r0yq
  Replies (3) Good night (1361) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.

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  (615): A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning. http://tfl.nu/fh1x
  Replies (5) Good night (1473) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1523) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

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  (806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5
  Replies (13) Good night (2023) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.

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  (402): I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing. http://tfl.nu/1xq6
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.

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  (412): We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck. http://tfl.nu/ep1e
  Replies (13) Good night (1701) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian

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  (901): He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian http://tfl.nu/6if3
  Replies (2) Good night (1953) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

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  (201): Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh? http://tfl.nu/8f9v
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake

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  (585): if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake http://tfl.nu/burq
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends

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  (978): Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends http://tfl.nu/f495
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (206)

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