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• (541): View more from Oregon

  bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?

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• (754): View more from Florida

  you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (347): View more from New York

  Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.

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• (914): View more from New York

  She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.

  (972): View more from Texas

  Wine is not your friend.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.

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