he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
