Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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