Soap is not a condiment
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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