Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
