please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
