I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
