dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize