Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
