Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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