btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
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omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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