The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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