i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
