you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
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No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
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Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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