Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
