I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
