you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
