I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
