pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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