Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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