sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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