Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
