Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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