OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
