you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
