Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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