Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
