Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
