ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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