I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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