32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
