So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
