Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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