The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
