if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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