You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
