Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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