what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
