is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
