do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
wow bdsm is so cute
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
