They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
