I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
