whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I believe in your delicious
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
