I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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