Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
