She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize