you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
